✔ Backed by: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) · Medicare.gov. Each fact links to its source, and the full list is at the bottom of this post.
You call your mom’s doctor’s office with a simple question about her new medicine. The person on the phone says, “I’m sorry, I can’t share that. HIPAA.” You hang up feeling stuck and a little embarrassed. Like many family caregivers, you are just trying to help.
If that has happened to you, you are in good company with many family caregivers. Privacy rules are important. They protect all of us. But many family members and friends believe the rules block them out completely, and that is often not the case. This post explains, in plain words, what the federal privacy rule generally allows. It also covers how a patient can give permission, plus simple steps to set things up before you need them.
One quick note: this is general education, not legal advice. State laws and each office’s own policies can add their own rules, so it is always fine to ask how a specific office handles it.
What HIPAA generally allows
HIPAA is the federal law that includes rules about health privacy. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) explains that the rule does not require a doctor to share information with family or friends, unless that person is the patient’s “personal representative” (more on that below). But it does allow sharing in many common situations.[1]
When the patient is there and able to decide, a provider can share information if the patient agrees or does not object. That covers a family member or friend who is involved in their care or in paying for it. HHS gives a simple example: if you do not object, your doctor could talk with the friend who goes with you to the hospital.[1]
Sometimes the patient is not there or cannot give permission, for example if they are very ill or unconscious. Then HHS says a provider may share information with these people if it seems to be in the patient’s best interest.[1]
HHS also explains a very everyday example. When you send someone to pick up your prescription, the pharmacist can assume you do not object to them getting the medicine.[1]
The key word in all of this is allows. The rule permits sharing in these cases, but it does not force an office to share. That is why a clear “yes” from the patient makes such a difference.
The easiest step for family caregivers: the patient says so out loud
Often the simplest fix is for the patient to tell the care team directly who they want included. This works best at a visit, when everyone is in the same room.
Your loved one can say: “This is my daughter, Kim. She helps me with my care. It’s okay to talk with her about my health, today and when she calls.”
Then ask the office how they record that permission. Many offices have a form for it. Some patient portals also let a patient give a family member their own “proxy” access. Each office handles this a little differently, so just ask.
You can say: “My dad wants me to be able to call about his care. What do you need from him to make that official in your system?”
Health care power of attorney and “personal representatives”
Some families set up a health care power of attorney. This is a legal document that names someone to make health decisions for a person. HHS explains that when a health care power of attorney is in effect, the person named is generally the patient’s personal representative. A personal representative has the same rights to the patient’s health information as the patient, including the right to request records.[2]
Timing matters. HHS notes that some powers of attorney take effect right away. Others only apply when the patient can no longer make their own decisions, and may end if the patient regains that ability.[2] Read your document, or ask the person who helped prepare it, so you know which kind you have. Keep a copy handy and give one to the main clinic and hospital your loved one uses.
There is one important safety exception. HHS says a provider can decline to treat someone as a personal representative in some cases. That applies if the provider believes the patient has been or may be subject to violence, abuse, or neglect by that person, and that sharing would not be in the patient’s best interest.[2] That rule exists to protect patients.
Getting copies of medical records
Patients have a right to see and get copies of their own medical and billing records from health plans and providers, with few exceptions. HHS says a provider cannot refuse to give you copies because you have not paid a bill. They may charge a reasonable fee for copying and mailing, but not for searching for or retrieving your records.[3]
This is helpful for caregivers. A patient can request their own records and share them with you. Or, if you are their personal representative, you may be able to request them yourself.
Talking to Medicare on someone’s behalf
Calling the doctor is one thing. Calling Medicare is another. Medicare has its own process. Its fact sheet explains what Medicare needs before it can discuss someone’s information with you. The person must give verbal permission during a call with Medicare, or add you as an authorized representative.[4]
The form is called “Authorization to Disclose Personal Health Information.” Medicare says it can be completed online in the person’s Medicare.gov account, or printed, signed, and mailed. If you mail it, Medicare notes it can take a few weeks before you can call on their behalf.[4] You can reach Medicare at 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227); TTY users can call 1-877-486-2048.
This is especially timely right now. Medicare Open Enrollment runs from October 15 to December 7,[5] and many families help a parent compare plans. Setting up the authorization early means you can make those calls together without a snag.
The same fact sheet also mentions that a State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) offers free help with coverage and costs. You can find yours at shiphelp.org.[4]
A simple permission plan checklist for family caregivers
You do not need to do all of this at once. Pick the items that fit your family:
- Ask each main clinic how to add a family member to the patient’s permission list.
- Ask about proxy access to the patient portal.
- If there is a health care power of attorney, give a copy to the clinic and hospital.
- Complete Medicare’s authorization form, if Medicare calls are part of your role.
- Keep copies of everything in one folder or emergency binder.
Tru-Tips: Respect goes both ways. Ask your loved one what they want shared and what they would like to keep private. Some people are happy to share everything. Others want help with bills but not with every detail of a visit. Their wishes come first.
One Tru Step: At the next appointment, ask your loved one to tell the care team, in their own words, that you are part of their care, and ask the office how to put it on file.
Let’s talk
Have you ever been told “I can’t share that” while helping someone you love? What finally made it easier to work with the care team?
Sources and further reading
- HHS: Family Members and Friends (HIPAA for Individuals)
- HHS: Does having a health care power of attorney allow access to the patient’s records under HIPAA?
- HHS: Your Medical Records
- Medicare.gov: Talking With a Friend’s or Family Member’s Doctor (fact sheet)
- Medicare.gov: Joining a Plan
Sources checked October 16, 2026. General education; individual care and coverage questions require an appropriate professional.
Related Health Hubs
Join the conversation 💬
This is your space. Share a tip that helped you, ask the question you have been wondering about, or cheer on someone going through the same thing. Your comment shows up right away, and no account is needed.
Our house rules (they keep this a feel-good spot): Be kind. Stay on topic. Keep it free of religion, politics, and anything hurtful. Comments that break these rules are removed.
Protect your privacy: Use a first name or nickname, and skip full names, phone numbers, and personal health details.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.