✔ Backed by: National Domestic Violence Hotline. Each fact links to its source, and the full list is at the bottom of this post.
If you are in immediate danger or a life-threatening situation, call 911 if you can do so safely. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers support at 1-800-799-7233, by texting START to 88788, or through its website. [1]
You may have questions about a relationship without knowing what to call what is happening. Maybe something feels off, but you are not sure it “counts.” Maybe you are worried about a sister, a coworker, or a friend. You do not need a label, proof, or a finished plan to ask for help. Domestic violence support is there even if you just want to talk things through.
This article covers how to contact support in a way that fits your safety. It also covers what an advocate can help with and how to support someone else. Read only what feels useful to you right now. You can stop at any time.
Domestic violence support is free, confidential, and open day and night
The National Domestic Violence Hotline says its trained advocates offer free, confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use the live chat on its website. Message and data rates may apply to texts. There is also a Spanish-language website. [1]
Some people find it easier to type than to talk. Others want to hear a calm voice. There is no wrong way to reach out. Is a live advocate not available? The Hotline also offers an AI chat tool called Ruth that can help in the meantime. [1]
Some communities have their own lines, too. The Hotline lists the StrongHearts Native Helpline at 1-844-762-8483 for Native Americans and Alaska Natives. It also lists the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 for young people. For people who are Deaf or hard of hearing, there is the Deaf Hotline by video phone at 1-855-812-1001. [1] You can choose the line that feels most comfortable for you.
Think about how to reach help safely
The Hotline warns that internet use can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. Its website has a quick-exit feature: you can click the red “X” in the upper corner or press the Escape key twice to leave the page fast. It also suggests clearing your browser history after a visit. [1] These tools can help, but they are not a promise of privacy.
For example, imagine a shared family tablet, a phone plan that shows call logs, or an email account someone else can open. A call, text, or saved page might show up in places you did not expect. If monitoring worries you, consider reaching out from a device or place the other person cannot get to. Do this only when it is safe. For some people, that may be a trusted friend’s phone or a public library computer. You can also ask an advocate about digital safety for your own situation. The Hotline’s safety-planning page links to an internet safety tool. [2]
You do not have to save this article, print a plan, or send a message if that could put you at risk. Keeping things in your head is a valid choice.
Tru-Tips: When you first reach an advocate, tell them right away if it is not safe for them to call or text you back. You can also agree on what to do if someone walks into the room while you are talking.
Ask for a plan made for your life
The Hotline describes safety planning as something that can help protect you on your path to long-term safety. Its advocates can help you create a personalized safety plan that is right for you. [2] That matters, because there is no single “right move” that works for everyone. What is safe for one person may be risky for another.
The safety-planning page also points to tools about supporting your children and keeping pets safe. [2] If you have kids at home or a pet you cannot leave behind, those concerns belong in your plan, too. The Hotline is also clear about one thing: the responsibility for ending abusive behavior belongs to the person causing harm, and to them alone. [2] Making a plan is not about fixing them. It is about you.
You can say: “I am worried about my safety, and I need help thinking through my options.” You only need to share what feels safe. You can also say: “Please don’t call me back. I’ll reach out again when I can.”
Name the practical help you need
Sometimes the biggest barrier is a practical one. You might need a place to stay, a ride, or help with children. You might need care for a pet, a way to keep getting your medicine, or someone to explain local services. If it is safe to talk about, tell the advocate which need feels most urgent today.
The Hotline can refer you to community resources and local domestic violence support. Its directory of local providers includes shelters, legal help, financial aid, counseling, and low-cost or no-cost health care. But the Hotline does not give money directly, such as cash, hotel vouchers, or transportation vouchers. [1] Before you make plans around a service, check what it offers and whether it has space or funds right now.
If it helps to focus, you might start with one of these topics:
- A safe place to stay
- Legal help and knowing your rights
- Getting needed medicine and health care
- Care for children or pets
You do not have to sort out everything at once. One need at a time is enough. An advocate can help you think about which step makes sense first.
If you are supporting someone else
If someone you care about may be in an abusive relationship, it is normal to feel scared, angry, or helpless. The Hotline says simply being there is a great first step. [4] Listen more than you talk. Ask what kind of contact is safe. For example, is texting okay, or should you wait for them to reach out?
The Hotline suggests not judging their choices and not criticizing or guilting them over decisions they make. It reminds supporters that decisions about their lives are theirs to make, and that you cannot “rescue” them. It also suggests not criticizing the abusive partner. [3] That may feel strange. But harsh words about a partner can lead a person to defend them or pull away from you.
Practical help can matter, too. The Hotline suggests helping the person identify a support network and store important documents or a “to-go bag.” You can also offer to go with them to service providers or legal settings for moral support. If they give you permission, you can help document what has happened. And do not post anything about them on social media that could be used to identify them. [3]
Leaving is a personal decision. The Hotline encourages supporters to keep showing up, even if the person goes back to their partner. [3] You can say: “I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.” Advocates can also help you find ways to support a loved one. [4]
Let’s talk about it
What made it easier, or harder, to reach out for support, for you or someone you care about? What would you want a friend to say to you? If you comment, please keep it general and leave out names, places, or details that could identify anyone.
One Tru Step: If it is safe, contact a trained advocate by phone, text, or chat and ask about options for your situation. You deserve support that respects your choices and your safety.
Sources and further reading
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Help
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Safety Planning
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Ways to Support a Domestic Violence Survivor
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Support Others
Sources checked October 15, 2026. General education; individual care and coverage questions require an appropriate professional.
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If you are in immediate danger, call 911 if it is safe to do so. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. If you are in emotional crisis, call or text 988.