✔ Backed by: MedlinePlus (National Library of Medicine) · National Institute on Aging (NIH) · Medicare. Each fact links to its source, and the full list is at the bottom of this post.
Most of us hope we will always be able to speak for ourselves about our health care. But a sudden illness, a serious accident, or a long illness can change that without warning. Advance directives are papers that tell others what care you want, and who should speak for you, if you cannot speak for yourself.
These papers are not only for older adults or people who are very sick. Adults of any age can benefit from them. Writing your wishes down while life is calm is a gift to you and to the people who love you. It can spare your family from guessing, arguing, or carrying the weight of a hard choice alone.
Know the two main papers
There are two main types of advance directives, and they do different jobs. Many people choose to have both.
The first is a living will. It explains the care you do or do not want. MedlinePlus says it can cover things like CPR, feeding through an IV or a stomach tube, long-term use of a breathing machine, tests, medicines, surgery, and blood transfusions. A living will does not name a person to make decisions for you, and it does not cover money matters [1].
The second is a health care power of attorney. It lets you name a person, often called a health care agent or proxy, to make medical decisions when you cannot. It does not give that person power over your legal or money decisions [1]. Your proxy can only make decisions for you if you are too sick to make them yourself [3]. As long as you can speak for yourself, you stay in charge.
Why have both? A living will cannot predict every situation. A trusted person who knows your values can fill in the gaps when something comes up that you never wrote down.
Understand the choices you might write about
Some of the treatments in a living will can be hard to picture. Learning a little about them can help you decide what fits your values.
CPR is used when the heart stops. It involves pushing hard on the chest and putting air into the lungs, sometimes with electric shocks and medicines. The National Institute on Aging notes that CPR can break ribs, and it is less likely to work for older adults with long-term health conditions or serious illness [2].
A ventilator is a machine that helps you breathe through a tube in your throat. People often need medicine to stay calm while on one. If it is needed for a long time, a surgical opening in the neck may be made, and people may need extra help to speak afterward [2].
Artificial nutrition and hydration means giving fluids and food through an IV or feeding tube. The NIA says hand feeding is another option that may carry fewer risks, especially for people with dementia [2]. You can also share your wishes about organ, tissue, or brain donation [2].
There is no right or wrong answer here. These are personal choices, and your care team can help you understand what each one could mean for your own health. You can say: “With my health conditions, what choices might I face, and what would each one be like?”
Fill out your advance directives the right way
Each state has its own laws [1]. You can find, download, and print free advance directive forms for your state. You may need to have the form witnessed or notarized, so read the directions closely [2]. Your provider, a hospital, a community social worker, or an attorney can help you get it right [1].
Your doctor can also help you think things through. Medicare Part B covers voluntary advance care planning as part of your “Welcome to Medicare” visit and your yearly Wellness visit. You pay nothing for it during those visits if your provider accepts assignment. If it is part of other medical care, the Part B deductible and coinsurance apply [4]. If you have other insurance, ask your plan what it covers.
Choose your person with care
Your proxy can be a family member, chosen family, a friend, or a neighbor. What matters most is trust. In most states, a proxy must be at least 18. In Alabama and Nebraska, the age is 19 [3]. The NIA also notes that the American Bar Association generally advises against choosing your own health care provider or the staff at your care facility [3].
The National Institute on Aging suggests asking yourself a few questions as you decide [3]:
- Can I talk openly with this person about my wishes?
- Will they follow my wishes, even when it is hard?
- Can they handle different opinions from family, friends, and care teams?
- Do they live nearby, or are they willing to travel?
The person you love most is not always the best fit. For example, imagine your closest family member feels very strongly that “everything possible” should always be done. But you would want comfort care in some situations. A calm friend who truly respects your wishes might be the better choice. Always ask the person if they are willing to take on the role. You can also name a backup in case your first choice is not available [3].
Have the conversation
Signing the form is only part of the job. The talk you have with your proxy matters just as much. Share what matters most to you, which decisions you want them to make, and anyone you want them to talk with first [3].
It can feel awkward to start. You can say: “I am putting my health care wishes in writing, and you are the person I trust most to speak for me. Can we talk about what matters to me?” Keep the conversation going over time. The NIA suggests revisiting it at least once a year [3].
Tru-Tips: Pick an easy yearly reminder to review your advance directive, like your birthday or New Year’s Day. Put a note on your calendar so it does not slip by.
Share copies of your advance directives and keep them current
A plan only helps if people can find it. Give copies to your proxy, your family, and your providers. Keep one in your wallet or your car’s glove box, and bring one with you if you go to the hospital [1].
You can change your decisions at any time. If you do, tell everyone involved and share the new version [1]. The National Institute on Aging suggests reviewing your living will at least once a year and after big life events, like a move or a divorce [2].
Let’s talk about it
Have you put your care wishes in writing, or talked with someone about being your proxy? What helped you get started, or what is holding you back? Share in the comments so others feel less alone in taking this step.
One Tru Step: Write down the name of one person you would trust to speak for you, and ask them this week if they are willing.
Sources and further reading
- MedlinePlus (National Library of Medicine): Advance care directives
- National Institute on Aging: Preparing a Living Will
- National Institute on Aging: Choosing a Health Care Proxy
- Medicare.gov: Advance care planning
Sources checked October 15, 2026. General education; individual care and coverage questions require an appropriate professional.
Related Health Hubs
Join the conversation 💬
This is your space. Share a tip that helped you, ask the question you have been wondering about, or cheer on someone going through the same thing. Your comment shows up right away, and no account is needed.
Our house rules (they keep this a feel-good spot): Be kind. Stay on topic. Keep it free of religion, politics, and anything hurtful. Comments that break these rules are removed.
Protect your privacy: Use a first name or nickname, and skip full names, phone numbers, and personal health details.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.